Confession Time. I haven't been adjusting my weight ticker because I have GAINING weight, not losing. Why is it so easy to pack on the pounds? I love to eat. I hate to exercise. I guess that lays things out pretty plainly. I've also "lied" in a sense because I put what I need to lose, but not how much I weigh. Oh, the thought of it is mortifying, though I'm not sure why, as anyone who knows me can see that I'm clearly not supermodel skinny...or even plus size model-shaped. Blah.
Two things have contributed harshly to my decision to fess up today and start anew...again. I think I start anew at least once a week. So pathetic. Anyway, here are my reasons: #1: Last night I was at Big Lots looking for a rug for my daughter's room. A husband and wife were shopping close by, and she was prattling about her weight because he wanted to go grab dinner somewhere. He looked directly at me, then "whispered" in a way that was not at all quiet, "Honey, you're the thinnest one in this store; I don't know what you're worried about." OUCH. So what did I do? Decide to go home and jog? No. Grab a weight loss DVD on the way out? Nope. Call my husband and cancel our plans for pizza? Wrong again. I grabbed a jumbo box of nutty bars and slithered out. Of course, when I got home and shared the story with my husband, I didn't come to my senses. Instead I proceeded to devour 3 packs of the chocolatey/peanut buttery goodness.
Now, reason #2: My dear cousin Samantha, who I fondly call Sosa, has also gained some weight recently. I mentioned her in a previous post; she was visiting and I was using her as an excuse to sabotage my diet. I shared the story about how once upon a time we had lost a lot of weight together. Here we are in 2006, about 3 months after I had my son.
Both of us weighed about 130 pounds here and shared size 6 jeans. We even wore bikinis that summer. Together we monitored our diets and exercised like crazy together. It was even FUN. But then my husband returned from Korea and I moved away, and I started gaining weight again. Sosa held onto her figure until very recently, but I've been battling the bulge for years now. Here's a pic of Sosa and I taken just this past weekend.
Since the 2006 picture, Sosa has gained about 40 pounds and I have gained *gulp* 73 pounds. 73 pounds!!! That's an entire anorexic person!!! I always felt bad for those who were overweight. I never made fun or thought them less of a person. But I feel that way about myself. Like I am handicapped in some way because I am overweight. Like I am disgusting because I carry around extra pounds.
So the journey begins....again. Sosa and I have decided to return to our days of friendly competition and be the girls we want to be. Sosa is joining a Biggest Loser program at her local YMCA. My Y doesn't have the program, but I will be using the Biggest Loser Workout DVDs starting TODAY. Also, I'm tracking what I eat on weightwatchers.com. Each day I plan to report on myself from the day before. Did I exercise? Did I drink enough water? Did I stay within my points? This creates obvious accountability for myself.
Each Thursday Sosa and I will reveal our weight loss for the week. I am starting at.... (oh this is painful!)....203.4 pounds.
So here we go!!
Ggoooooooo you!!!!! I'm so with you on this.
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