Before I had kids, the thought of being late to something gave me anxiety. I was always on time, often obnoxiously early. I refused to walk in with an excuse as to why I couldn't be on time; I found those that "chose" not to arrive early were disrespectful. Notice I said BEFORE I had kids; unfortunately, that statement creates an "after". And my after aint so pretty.
I am always late. It all started with that first way-layed period over four years ago; from that moment on, I was destined to be late in everything I did. Late getting up, late going to bed, late arriving at church, late getting dinner on the table, late for a meeting, late with bills, late, late late! So last night when my pregnant, very sick friend asked me to go over and spend today with her, I vowed that I wouldn't be late. In fact, I would be amazing. I decided to make her a few meals to freeze, take lunch over for her and the kids, and be so on time it was scary! I was to be there at 11, and had my alarm set for 8:20; clearly there was no way I was going to screw this up!
I got to her house at 12:08. Heavens, how do I do this?? And did you ever notice that what you're running late everything that can go wrong will? I had to check two grocery stores for something I needed on the way there. When the first didn't have it, I decided I would just take my shopping list to the second and do all my shopping there. I'm not as familiar with this grocery store, so of course I passed the entrance because I never have a need to turn that way! Then, I wandered around the grocery store like a lost puppy, reading the signs above the aisles like a tourist in a big city. After several loops, I finally gathered everything that I needed. And wouldn't you know that I picked the cashier who just thinks children are adorable and wants to have a full conversation with them. Have you ever tried to have a full conversation with a 2 and 4 year old? It was not short lived. It was almost painful. And then (and I couldn't make this up; it's just too weird), the cashier asked me, "Can I survey you?"
"For the store?" I asked, confused.
I thought she was being sarcastic. "Uh..."
"I wondered what your favorite Harrison Ford movie is? I'm taking a poll." She proudly held up two sheets of paper.
Is she kidding me? I have two screaming kids trying to climb out of the cart while they are eating my grapes. I'm late, I'm cranky, and I have three dishes of shepherds pie in the car that are grower colder by the minute.
"Do you want me to read you the list I have so far? Indiana Jones, Air Force One - "
Crap, I didn't interrupt fast enough. She droned on.
"-What Lies Beneath, Sabrina-"
"Yep, that one," I interjected.
"Because that's my name."
"Sabrina? Really? I haven't heard that name a lot."
I offered a half smile, hoping this was the encouragement she needed to hand me the receipt that she held ransom in her hand.
"So you chose the movie as a favorite just because it's your name?"
Did she sound ridiculing? Is she seriously judging my movie choice in the middle of the grocery store? "And because I like the movie," I defended, then wondered why I cared.
"Harrison Ford did the remake, did you know that?" she asked proudly, then rushed on before I could answer. "Who was the actress in the original? She's really popular..."
"Audrey Hepburn," I muttered.
"Yeah! Did you ever see that version?"
Just then Hazel let out a wail to beat them all; I had never been so grateful for her awful behavior in the grocery store.
"They're hungry for lunch." I made it sound apologetic, but in truth I was using it as a hint.
The cashier either got the hint or noticed that the older woman behind me was looking like a Harrison Ford fan. She finally handed over my receipt, and I was free. The construction zone I hit and downpouring rain I passed through was nothing compared to my chatty cashier. And yet, I was an hour late. I can't blame it all on her. I was a good half hour behind when I walked into the grocery store. But she certainly didn't help!
Anyone have any tips to share on getting out the door on time with little ones? Anyone want to share their fave Harrison Ford movie?...I'm kidding...please don't.