Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Hi Self's me, Sabrina

I grew up under the thumb of discipline.  I had very strict rules and, for the most part, I always followed them for fear of the consequences.  Phone calls had to be 15 minutes or less and had to occur before 9pm, I was seldom allowed out with my friends, I could only watch tv for 1 hour a day, I had to be in my room by 10pm each night, I could only eat in the kitchen, I had to do a detailed bible study every morning, I couldn't watch tv or talk on the phone when I was home by myself, etc etc.  You get the idea. 
So when I left home at 18 and married my husband, it was a free for all.  It's not that I did anything awful - I wasn't that type of girl.  But I "rebelled" in little ways.  I stayed up all night and slept all day, I ate when and where I wanted, the TV was always on, and the phone was often on my ear.  I knew all about discipline, but never got to the part about SELF discipline.
Now this is the part where I tell you about my amazing transformation and how I learned to be more self disciplined.  Except that it never happened!  I'm terrible with money, worse with food!  I still love to stay up all night and then regret it in the morning because I can't sleep all day.  I don't stick with hardly anything that I ever start.  So what's the key?  How do I just MAKE myself decide to be disciplined?  I'm sure a lot of it has to do with just making that decision, but that decision seems very reasonable when I have a brownie staring me in the face at 1 in the morning, or I REALLY don't want to do my school work now and save it til last minute on Sunday night.
Anyone with me?  Anyone who used to be like me and found that change?

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